


I'm Going to Hold On for a Little While Longer

by Donteatthefootcream



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Brief Sexual Content, Canon Compliant, Cuddling, Established Relationship, Falling In Love, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Murder Husbands, Reminiscing, True Love, reference to past relationships, season five spoilers, sort of dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 00:29:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18981478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donteatthefootcream/pseuds/Donteatthefootcream
Summary: Ed looks back and discovers that maybe, just maybe, Oswald has always been the one.





	I'm Going to Hold On for a Little While Longer

**Author's Note:**

> You know when it's Memorial Day weekend and you're bored as hell so you decide to write a Nygmobblepot fic? That's what happened.

Ed thinks back a lot. Either if it's how he's changed as a person or how he interacted with others. He thinks about Detective Gordon and Bullock, and how if their treatment of him was different if he'd still be the pathetic forensic scientist he was then. He thinks about how if his childhood was different if he'd be the selfish, mostly lack of emotion man he is today. Or, if he'd be able to see love when it was most obvious; not afraid of who was giving it to him. He thinks about how if Oswald and him didn't go through what they went through all those years ago if they'd be as in love and connected as they are now. 

 

Simply, Edward Nygma likes to think. 

 

Ed remembers when he told Dougherty to stop hurting Ms. Kringle, the woman who gave him love when all she got was pain in return. He remembers thinking to himself that Dougherty didn't love her. You wouldn't be able to hurt the person you love like that. Ed's father never loved him, he knew that. And, Officer Dougherty never loved Ms. Kringle.  _Ed loved Ms. Kringle..._ or so he thought. 

 

He remembers the night where she called him a psychopath, a stalker, and how it ended up with her dead in his arms. He hurt her. Possibly more than Doughertyy ever did. It didn't sink in for a  _long_ time that what he did, killing her as he repeated his love for her  _over and over_ again was not love. He might have admired her and wanted the best for her, but not even he could give that to her. He took any chance of happiness from her that night. That shook him to the core. 

 

Ed didn't love Kristen Kringle, but he wanted to.

 

 

Oswald Cobblepot became his unexpected best friend. The man who healed in his bed, who shared the bed with him with such reluctance, who ate Chinese food with him, and eventually began liking Ed. Ed never had a friend, let alone a  _best friend._ So, he cared for Oswald. He helped him as much as he could. He took flowers to Gertrud's grave. He visited when he could. But, then he became growing cold. So cold he kicked Oswald out when he needed him the most. 

 

Yet, Oswald forgave him. He visited him in Arkham as well and let him be involved with his life again. He freed him from Arkham too. He made him his Chief of Staff. The more he thinks back to those times, the more he sees that maybe he was falling in love the same time Oswald was. Dressing together, eating together, living together. Friends don't really do that, do they?

 

Then  _she_ came along. The woman who caused Oswald to make everything fall apart. Their friendship. Their trust and loyalty.  _Gone._ Oswald killed a woman out of jealousy, the woman Ed  _thought_ he loved.  _Thought._

 

Do you truly love a woman within the first week? Maybe like and trust and hope for a future, but love? Seems a bit unrealistic. But, Ed let it carry on. Even when she dressed up as Ms. Kringle, awakening one of the most traumatic experiences he's ever gone through, and sexualizing it. Doing such a thing, something so disgusting and cruel doesn't sound like love. It's hurtful and saddening. And now, it's back to Dougherty. It's back to Ed's father. Hurting someone isn't love; it's abuse. 

 

 

Feuding with Oswald; hating Oswald was easy. Easier than accepting that Oswald saved him from Isabella before it got worse. Easier than accepting that even after everything, Ed still cared for him. Hate is easy. Forgiveness is hard. So, he fought until he was frozen in ice. He mocked until Oswald sent Firefly. But then, the Riddler, the man who would rather run into challenges head first than run away, is helping Oswald and becoming his friend again. And they trust each other again until they don't. Until Lee Thompkins is dragging Ed down as she moves up. As she uses him to achieve her own goals. He shouldn't have let that happen, knowing the city and its people, but he  _likes_ it. Likes the rush and the control he believes to have over her until it's over with a knife in his abdomen. 

 

Lee Thompkins was not love. She was manipulating and deceiving. Not from the beginning, but she let power control her. As for Ed, it couldn't have been love either. Is the intent to control and the belief of having the  _right_ to make her who  _he_ wanted her to be love? No. It seems that relationship was control, manipulation, and deception since the first regrettable kiss on the stage. 

 

He should've left it at friends.

 

 

He blames Oswald for Haven. Perhaps it's sort of fair. Oswald led to the scarring experience without meaning to. His motive was positive, and Ed is sure he would've appreciated it more if Haven  _never_ happened. So, when Oswald comes to Ed for help with the promise of escape from Ed's recent misdeeds and past failures, he takes it. He doesn't get what he was promised, but he does get something he never thought he wanted. 

 

Ed gets Oswald again. He hears Oswald admit to his own selfish behaviors with the acceptance for why he's alone. He saves Oswald when Mr. Penn is on top of him thanking him for killing Scarface. He's able to hear Oswald say they're meant to be after Ed lays out why their friendship is perfect. He has his best friend back. The emotional, passionate, bitchy, and whiney Oswald Cobblepot is now back by his side, and he can't really complain. 

 

He's the happiest he's ever been with Oswald. He finally has a partner in crime who he believes isn't going to stab him in the back. He thinks it's fair to think that the man who makes sure he’s sleeping and eating while also spending time with him with a smile on his face is someone who isn't about to murder him in any time soon.  _And he doesn't._

 

Oswald is the one who keeps things moving along. Like when they're in the hospital and Lee Thompkins reminds him of the past and all he wants to do is make her  _pay_ for the damage she caused, but Oswald strolls right on through. He admires Oswald for his ambition and dedication and passion. And just maybe, he's starting to feel like he could have loved Oswald back years ago. 

 

It hurts when Oswald is leaving him on the pier with  _Edward the Dog,_ not even saying goodbye to him. But, Ed discovers years down the road that it wasn't that Oswald wouldn't miss him, it was because Oswald couldn't allow himself to open up like that again. It makes the memory a little more soothing. 

 

Ed doesn't leave, however. He stays behind, lies that he needs Oswald to leave. Lies that he likes the city just the way it is. Lies when Oswald asks him how his eye looks because he can't have Oswald thinking he's deformed after saving his life. It's the least he can do at the time. Ed will love Oswald's new eye later on, reminding him about what Oswald has done and will do for him. 

 

They end up being separated just months after everything is cleared up between them. After Oswald gets his new eye that makes Ed love him impossibly more. After their first kiss they both wish had never ended. After love confessions are confessed. 

 

"Why the different color?" Ed asked, holding Oswald's face to get a better look. 

 

"It matches Fish's," Oswald replied simply, "I thought it would be a worthy dedication to her. I wouldn't be here without her."

 

Ed thinks Oswald could have accomplished anything, Fish Mooney or not, but he'll let Oswald have this. Have this so typical Oswald belief. 

 

"I think it's wonderful," Ed breathed, looking Oswald directly in both eyes. 

 

Oswald smiled. "Thank you."

 

Ed doesn't know where it came from, his loss of control. His emotions are  _always_ controlled, not one out of place. Maybe it's the memory of how Oswald lost his eye for him. How he could’ve died for him.  _Love is about sacrifice._

 

"I love you," Ed uttered out. 

 

Oswald's smile dropped, his eye searching Ed's face and considering loosing from Ed's grip. Ed did let go of Oswald's face though, understanding Oswald would want space. He watched Oswald walk away from him towards the fire, arms crossed. 

 

"I-I know you don't think I mean that, and trust me, I'm so scared that I'll mess up like all the times before, but-" Ed tried to explain, "-I love you, Oswald. I haven't stalked you like I did to Kristen. I haven't made up some false reality like I did with Isabella. I haven't had a  _single_ thought of controlling or manipulating you like I had with Lee. Every moment we share together is special and _real_. Every time you walk into a room or smile at me or talk with me, I never want you to leave. I want you, Oswald. More genuinely than I have with anyone before. I love you so much, and I know I can't make up for the time we wasted, but I  _know_ we can use the time we have left  _together._ "

 

Oswald turned, teary eyed and a chuckle of disbelief leaving his lips. Ed made an attempt to move forward and Oswald lets him. Lets Ed crowd his space and pull him into such a tight hug, Oswald swore Ed was trying to push all of his love into him. 

 

"I have  _never_ stopped loving you, Edward Nygma," Oswald confessed against Ed's chest. 

 

Oswald pushed back just enough to allow Ed to catch his lips. It was beautiful and soft and everything either one of them could've wished for. This was the start of  _their_ beginning. The beginning of a new chapter of devotion and love after  _everything_ Jim Gordon is going to put them through in five months. 

 

 

For five months, it was Ed and Oswald; Oswald and Ed. _Inseparable_. The love developing into something Ed had never experienced before. Maybe that's why Ed starts to believe this is it, Oswald is the one. Five months in with no murder or manipulation or unwanted advancements. Merely respect, understanding, and happiness. Three things Ed has never truly experienced with someone else all at once.

 

It felt like a promise five months into this relationship where Oswald is taking such good care of him. Ed moaning and calling his lover's name as Oswald rocks into him, whispering sweet nothings and praise into Ed's ear. Kissing Ed's neck and chest, expressing so much love that Ed can barely handle it. It felt good to come untouched, overstimulated by Oswald's passion and words. It's unique and different and he loves Oswald so much it's almost unreal. 

 

"I love you so much," Ed panted onto Oswald's lips as he finished. 

 

" _God, you're brilliant,_ " Oswald choked out, pressing his lips to Ed's. 

 

Ed gripped Oswald's hair, running his hands through it as Oswald slows down to end it for the night. It didn't matter that Ed felt that night for the next week, it was worth it like every other time afterwards. The love that flowed through them keeps Ed in bliss, this undeniable bliss that kept him so happy that for the first time in his entire life he stupidly thought his happiness wouldn’t be ripped away. 

 

His happiness does get torn away from him though. Six months in, Jim Gordon is rudely on their doorstep, shouting "GCPD", and reading them their rights. Oswald argued, demanding  _why._ Why are they being arrested six months  _after_ Bane is gone. And, weren't they pardoned? However, it is no use. To the men in blue, Oswald and Ed don't deserve an explanation or even a time to say goodbye for ten years. Communication is banned, something about them being able to conspire. 

 

Loneliness had never felt that bad. Ed wasn't used to having friends or people to talk to, especially a  _significant other._ Imagine finally discovering what  _true_ contentment feels like only for it be taken away. It's horrible. It's as if there's a gaping hole where his heart had been, leaking black ink that replaces the colors in the already drab building. 

 

No matter how depressed he felt, he didn't let the inmates catch on. He gained back their respect by solving the puzzles in their brains. He tried to figure out Jeremiah Valeska too, vegetable or not. The guards hated him, definitely when he attempted to figure out something about Oswald. Truthfully, it could’ve been worse, but it would’ve been so much better with Oswald. Although the ten years went by unfairly slow, he manages to get through it. 

 

 

 _Relief._ That's what it's like to turn and see the man of his dreams smiling at him. Blue eye, monocle, top hat, Ed worthy purple suit jacket. He's beautiful. As beautiful as he was a decade ago. 

 

"It is  _very_ good to see you," Oswald says with such emotion.  _He means it._

 

" _Oswald,_ " Ed whispers, leaning closer to him, "I thought you were behind this."

 

"I'm not, but I thought you might need some help, and what else are friends for?"

 

Ed chuckles.  _Yes, friends._ Friends who eat dinner in candlelight. Friends who know the taste of each other. Friends who kiss for hours at a time just because it makes sense. Interesting friends indeed. 

 

"You look well," Oswald compliments. 

 

"You too," Ed reciprocates. He looks down at Oswald's stomach. The extra pounds don't make a difference. This is happiness sitting right beside him, nothing can change that, "A little thicker in the middle."

 

A playful comment, nothing harmful, yet Oswald's face drops and so do his eyes. Self-conscious. Oh, that won't do. Not for a second. Part of him wishes he hadn't said anything at all. 

 

" _Damn._ It's good to see you, Oswald," Ed shares, laughing once more. He's ecstatic. Happy for the first time in ten years. 

 

And even when the Bat decides to crash their car and hang them from a lamp post, he's not as mad as he could be. He's hanging by a rope, wishing to be down, but he has Oswald beside him. He has Oswald beside him when they're escaping the transport vehicle and it's that moment where he realizes that he missed everything about Oswald, including his complaining. 

 

"Tomorrow?" Oswald asks, stopped from Ed's outstretched hand. 

 

"Tomorrow," Ed agrees. 

 

Tomorrow they'll deal with their new enemy. Tomorrow they'll prepare themselves for the future ahead of them, but tonight? Tonight they'll get their ducks in a row and make up for the past ten years Jim Gordon took away from them. Maybe they'll plan revenge, who knows? Ed would love to see how Jim would feel if they dragged Lee away from him. But, he ended on shaky terms with the doctor ten years ago and doesn't exactly want to ruin that. And they won't be able to go after his ten year old kid. They would have to think on this more. 

 

 

The two don't really do  _anything_ when they get back to Oswald's mansion he's managed to keep throughout his sentence. They lay in bed, Ed laying beside Oswald as he smokes, a nasty habit he picked up in prison, but it suits him in some way Ed can't explain. They don't talk, don't touch, just silence. Perhaps it's how unreal this feels. Or, that they don't know exactly where they are at this point. They haven't been able to see or speak with each other for ten years, things could've changed. 

 

"I missed you so much," Ed finally says. He feels like crying. 

 

"I missed you too," Oswald responds. "You can thank Jim Gordon for that."

 

Ed smirks. He turns onto his side, throwing his arm over Oswald's now larger stomach and moving closer to him. Yes, he likes this. "We can think about what to do with him tomorrow."

 

Oswald scoffs. "I already tried."

 

"You did? How'd that work out for you?"

 

He exhales impatiently. "He jumped in the water before I could do anything."

 

Ed nuzzles into Oswald's side. "I'm sorry about that, but at least we have the opportunity to do it together."

 

Oswald hums. "You make a good point."

 

He smiles. "Don't I always?"

 

All Oswald does is chuckle with a shake of his head. Ed kisses his neck, the first sort of kiss they've had in ten years. It makes Oswald hum again, stamping out his cigarette in the ashtray. Oswald places a kiss on Ed's head, running his hands through his hair. Ed appreciates the affection, rubbing circles on Oswald's chest. He loves this. 

 

"What's the plan now?" Ed inquires. 

 

"Figure out who Mr. Bat is, plan Jim Gordon's demise, and Iceberg Lounge 2.0."

 

"Jim Gordon as the new centerpiece?"

 

His partner chuckles, Ed feeling his chest rumble from it. "No. I don't want to see him every day."

 

Ed nods. _Agreed_. "I love you." Ed moves up, leaning down to press his lips chastely upon Oswald's. "So, so much." He kisses him again. 

 

Oswald tightens his grip in Ed's hair, keeping him from pulling away. "I'm not going to let  _anyone_ or  _anything_ separate us again, Ed. I promise."

 

"Let's get married."

 

Oswald let's go of his hair this time, looking at his lover with wide eyes. "Excuse me?"

 

"We're still madly in love with each other after ten years of being apart. I don't understand why being married is such a concern."

 

"Edward, we are infamous criminal masterminds who have targets on our backs. We can't just get married because we feel like it. There's the dangers and the paperwork and the-"

 

Ed silences him with a kiss. "Everyone knows we were together before our incarcerations, Ozzie. Who cares?"

 

"I care."

 

Ed frowns. He really pulled that card, didn't he? "Please, love. For me. I can take care of myself. Let us have this."

 

Oswald seems to settle down after that, cupping Ed's face and running his thumb down the cheekbone. "Fine, but if  _one_ thing goes wrong I'll hate you."

 

"You could never." He kisses Oswald again, nipping at his lip. 

 

Oswald Cobblepot? He's the one. Ed understands that finally. He's the one who's proven to Ed what  _real_ unconditional love is. How powerful love can be, not a weakness. Oswald is going to make him cry at the altar in front of everyone because of his vows. Oswald is going to be the one to scream at him when Ed gets thrown in Arkham again for leaving too many clues. Oswald is going to be the one Ed makes breakfast in bed for. They're both going to share the title "King of Gotham" simply by association. And, it's all okay because they've got each other. 

**Author's Note:**

> Like always, thanks for reading and interacting with this fic in any possible way. :)
> 
> I think this was the most angsty thing I have ever written. I'm sorry. Also, this was kind of projection of my thoughts. Sorry to anyone who shipped Ed with any of those women, I sort of snapped.


End file.
